literally, because we are on the 29th floor in one of these hotels in bangkok. but more than the literal high, i am feeling ‘high‘, like on the clouds, drugged, giddy and can’t-stop -smiling kind of high. and this, even if we (my office) are about to start with a big regional conference, our first for the year. since december last year, a lot of the peeps in the office have been tense (and intense) and chaotic because of preparations for this event.
but for some reason, i still get to laugh and smile it all out.
maybe it’s because i’ve been drinking tea instead of coffee for the past 3-4 months now, which helps in calming my nerves instead of being super hyper because of the caffeine. i used to drink 3-4 cups of coffee a day just to wake me up. but now, i’d rather have tea, all day long. so i suppose that’s a factor in making me feel calm. i still get hyper, but pretty much on a positive note. i don’t make threats on killing people whenever something irks me now.
another thing maybe is because, well, i’m more mature now. ok, so another year has added, i aged, and i’m proud of that. i’m getting wiser, and learning that i should really not make a big deal over trivial things that really won’t be solved anyway if i still meddle with it. i now believe, more than ever, that too many cooks spoil the broth. i’d rather keep out of the kitchen, when i can do better things being away from it. don’t sweat the small stuff, and all that crap. if i am personally (or professionally) involved in it, well, i still remain calm. it has always been my principle to not waste time delving deeper into problems when an answer is immediately needed right there and now. when it’s a ‘now-or-never’ kind of situation, i’d rather address it ASAP. once the situation has been attended to and solved, then we talk thoroughly on what caused it. then we find means to avoid it.
lastly, it definitely helps that i am in-love right now. nope, not with someone, not with a significant other, but i am in-love with this feeling of giddiness because of a fandom that i never would have thought i’d be so invested in. i have never been this kind of a fan; i have never followed a love-team so closely as these two, and never have i ever wanted to belong to a community of fans who adore the two of them, be it together or individually.
and not just the two of them, but the whole community surrounding them.their supportive families; their trusted and seriously genius tv network; the veterans in their crazy, wonderful profession / craft that also enjoy and are happy seeing the two of them together (real and reel); and the fiercely loyal fandom, which is definitely, beyond the loveteam itself, a phenomenon.
i am happy to say and declare that i am a fan. not just of the loveteam, but of this huge loving family of crazy, star-struck, and generous fandom.
so, even if the next days will be completely tense and intense, i will always look forward to the tweets at real-time, and the replay at the end of the day. i’ve always declared this in my tweets: this fandom keeps me sane. and i am grateful for it.
i am happy to spend my valentines day feeling this way.