my biggest ambition in life

(posted on blogger 9/25/07)

my biggest ambition in life is to move on. this was what ms. A said yesterday during a meeting. it was a running joke between her and ms. B, since they have been with their organizations for so long they are so married to it already. ms. A’s words struck me funny at first, but having thought of it over night, it says a lot. it wasn’t just her ambition alone – it was everyone else’s ambition actually. we all strive to move on, to take that next step and seek a whole different world other than where we are now. but very few of us actually take that next step. i applaud those who have the guts to really drop everything and grab the opportunities that are out there. totally out of their comfort zone. i am amazed at how they could easily get up after a fall, after a disastrous event in their lives. brave people.

then again, there are those who claim that they have moved on, took an extra step and plunged into adventure, but never really left. sure, they may have taken a different course in their lives, shifted their gears towards something that one would never associate with themselves, but still linger on certain things from their past. pitiful, but true. there are people who keep clinging on to something – a security blanket perhaps – because they are afraid of what might befall on them once they let go.

i’m one of those people siguro. i’ve learned a lot from past mistakes, and i have claimed to have moved on. though every now and then i catch myself dwelling on certain things in my past – regrets, anger, grudges – but i try not to be consumed by it. funny, but i sometimes amuse myself when i think of what i’ve been through, of how far i have gone, and how i have changed.

maybe it is right to move on. maybe we really should aim to move on, especially when there isn’t anything worth clinging on or going back to. but there’s value in looking back. how else do you move on when there are issues in your past that you have never really resolved?

i choose to move on, but i’m not letting go of where i have come from. i won’t dwell, because that makes looking back a pathetic act. i won’t cling to something in my past, because i will only go back to that place which i have vowed to rise above from.

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