3 october 2016
waiting here at west ave for a colleague. it’s a little past 5am, early for a monday. last night i was contemplating on not going to work today, i just felt like i don’t want to. and i really would’ve preferred staying home and doing some writing. and i’d be at home with my parents, of course. though i’d really prefer to escape somewhere else. like what maine did. she escaped spontaneously, even for only a day. with friends. or even by myself. i think i’d rather be by myself, though. i need that. i need to get away for a while and just … escape. 
to rejuvenate and reorganize again. 
i saw camp sawi last night. my dad has been spending a lot of time watching youtube vids because he’s not allowed to do anything else right now, after the high bp episodes last week. so he chances upon camp sawi last night, well i saw it and said that it’s a new film. so we watched it and all the more that i would like to escape and stay in a resort. 10 days is a little too much maybe, but a week will be ok. a weekend may not be enough for me to recharge. i’m beginning to like the idea of beaches, but i am still terrified of the open waters. i just want the to be able to stare out into the sea, take in the scenery, breathe in salty air, and write. and read. and write again. 
i need to recharge. i’m beginning to be too annoyed at work, and snappish at a lot of stuff. i get irritated easily. ok maybe it’s the hormones because i’m about to have my period. but heck, 30 years of blaming it on hormones (yep, that’s how long i’ve been having my period) shouldn’t really be the reason. 
i suppose i really do need to unwind, to escape. i just have to. i need to. 


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