one day in bangkok. my colleagues have been teasing me that i’m just meeting someone, that i have a date or something. i realy wish that were true. but nope. here i am, spending a day here in bangkok, alone. risking the expenses that i have to carry on for payments in the next 6 months or so (my credit card is dangerously bordering on getting maxed up), add up to the expenses and payments i have to face when i get back (home, office, rent, food, stuff).
and again, alone.
i wish i were meeting someone here, but that someone i want to meet up with is more interested in getting rumors from me instead of being really here with me. and i know i’ve said it many times – i don’t think i can wait for him to be ready for me.
(though a colleague mentioned something that struck me – maybe i’m the one who’s not ready? 🤔 ok, that would be a different post altogether, let’s leave it at that for now, shall we?)
anyway, so i’m here in bangkok. not really my most favorite place to spend a day alone, and i just made up that excuse of shopping at mbk, but what i really wanted to do was to do some writing. not work, not reports. but my own writing.
my stories. my thoughts.
i’ve been doing these stories on wattpad, and i really want to spend some time doing them. i vowed some months back that i will work on it every weekend but like most of the vows that i’ve made, i’ve never really kept them. same goes for new year’s resolutions. i’ve been busy doing work, really adult stuff because, hey, i’m 41, so that’s just expected of me, right?
then again, right at my core, i know that i am destined to write. stories, poems, even commentaries (which i’m pretty sure are not really valuable and would not matter because mine will just be another voice, thank you freedom of expression which we sometimes tend to abuse). but i really would love to do some writing similar to how erma bombeck does it. she’s really one of my favorite writers / humorists. well, she’s my favorite, period. i have all her books, all bought from booksale and some even with double copies because i just couldn’t resist buying them (and they were on sale so why shouldn’t i buy another copy? sheesh…). i really would like to write in that similar fashion. i don’t know if there’s a pinoy writer or novelist who does that…? one who doesn’t border on doing toilet humor and spg-ish. anyway, there may be or may be none. i could be the first one, who knows? then again, there will only be one erma bombeck, and reading her books are enough to feed my soul. now i think i really should have brought one of her books along this trip. i will, next time.
so the game plan today (well, it’s noon here, so for the half-day left), i will put in more time writing my entry for AMACon 3 (to which i have written 5 plot ideas, only one i have started writing on but have not progressed, thinking of starting on another one of the ideas but…ok, i have no idea how to proceed, seriously, i’ll just have to continue writing and i’ll see from there); updating never on the mouth (i really want to stock up on my stories here and just update it every week, as long as i have the drafts ready…but i really need someone to read it first, they call it beta-reading, before i upload…it’s spg so i kind of feel a little insecure on writing it); start on the plot outline for the trese-de-boda / trahe-de-duda or whatever the title it ends up with, this fictional story idea that my officemates and i came up with after i told them of my theory on why i am still not married at 41 (it’s a cute fantasy-romance-humor-ish kind of story and i really enjoyed throwing ideas with my officemates, with one of them getting way ahead and saying we should do a film about it, hahaha!).
so, there. quite a handful, i know, and it’s only for a half-day here in bangkok. i would’ve spent more days but i really can’t afford that now, for reasons i’ve stated above. maybe next year. for now, i have to condition myself that i should maximize whatever that i have, whatever that i am blessed with, and be thankful for it. like this one day that i am spending here in bangkok. maybe in my next missions and trips, i will spend an extra day somewhere, on my own. yeah, that i can do. i save on airfare because i will be riding on the airfare that the office will provide, genius, i know). and i get a day to myself. and who knows, in the next trips, i will get to meet up with someone, and not be by my lonesome. oh, i really would love that.
but for now, i have my writing as my best companion. so, productivity, hit me.