the sunday currently, 24

another sunday, another weekend passed, and though i really didn’t get much work done as i would have wanted (which included actual work stuff that i brought home, and updating my stories on wattpad, and putting in some start to my amacon 4 entry), i am still feel like i accomplished something.

reading… A Discovery Of Witches by Deborah Harkness, and i can’t put it down. and i am so happy, because it’s been a long time since i’ve read a book that i actually can’t stop reading! i was so hooked since i started reading it last sunday, and i’m so proud of myself that i’ve been reading every night for the past week (thanks to not having any internet connection at night back in los baños, so i have less distractions), and i am probably on the last 2/3s of the book already. yay! i am actually going to speed up writing this because i want to get back to it. oh, and it’s a trilogy and i can’t wait to get my hands on the next book! it’s about witches and vampires and other creatures, and there’s romance and magic and…oh, i could go on and on but i am so inspired to write all the more, and read, and research, and write again. basta! i am loving this book and i’ve been thinking of writing the author to really praise her, and i am regretting not having started on reading this when i first bought it, which was i think some 2-3 years ago! nevertheless, i am just glad to have bought it.

listening… to the whirr of the a/c in my room, and nothing else actually. i haven’t really turned on my itunes and spotify yet because i might get distracted again. i’ve been listening a lot to the hamilton mixtape and the original broadway recording (which i bought on itunes because i just couldn’t get enough of them, they’ve been on loop and in my head for most of the week and i had to pry myself away from memorizing the lyrics because i just want to). i’m targeting to watch it live, fingers crossed, when they stage it in london, with rachel ann go as eliza. wishful thinking, but hey, that’s desire and i would like to think i’m a witch with magic, and magic is desire … something. argh. i marked that somewhere in the book… anyway.

writing… hopefully some update for my NOTM on wattpad, and for AMACon 4, and our fic exchange. maybe by tomorrow, though, and for the week. since we don’t have any internet connection now in elbi (some riff beteen my housemate and his brother, long story), i have time to write and not get distracted by browsing and surfing the net as much. i’m thankful for that, as long as there is nothing that urgent anyway. and i get to gather my thoughts more clearly in the morning and at night, and then write.

thinking… a mix of stuff, as always. i’m thinking of moving to another house, an apartment actually. also about investing in a house and lot, something that i’ve been toying since … maybe 5-6 years ago since i went back to los baños. also thinking about getting more into shape, run / walk around the campus more and set a fitness routine of some sort (at least walk/run late afternoons or early mornings, zumba twice a week courtesy of the office fitness chorva, and i still want to enroll in an arnis training thing). thinking a bit more about writing as a career, and focusing on a genre of some sort. also thinking about researching about filipino folklore and history and culture, which i know isn’t really new, but i just want to learn and understand a bit more. it’s just coming back to me now that i have been interested in this stuff before, back when i was in college and even in the first few years out of it. and now that i’ve gone back to writing and reading, i feel as if i’ve lost some time, that if i’ve pursued it a bit more and pushed myself back when i was younger to actually do something about it (i don’t know what, maybe write about it more, explore a different angle of how filipino culture works, understand it more…anything!), i may have actually carved a name for myself in this arena. hah! wishful thinking!

(but in the back of my mind, yes, maybe i should have pursued it a bit more. there’s always something holding me back, like i am always half-and-half of everything that i do, not fully putting myself into it.)

wishing… i am financially secure so that i can easily quit my job and just write. yep, that clearly falls under wishing.

loving… the thought that because of my fangirling, because of my love for alden and maine and actually getting inspiration from how the fandom is so creative at expressing theur love for the two, my own creativity has been woken up.

feeling… a little sad, just now, after reading a bit on twitter about some negative stuff again about the two being apart tomorrow for the national breakfast day of mcdonalds. sad, because yes, they’re apart when they were together last year for the same event; sad, because people / the fandom is divided and debating and arguing  about the issue, why they are apart and blaming mcdonalds for it and feeding the one-sided-fans with a lot more speculations; sad, because i feel like the two are all the more being entangled into the money-part of the industry, which is a really sad reality and one that they really cannot avoid. i just feel like they deserve more than just being ‘priced’ as a commodity, they deserve to be normal human beings, normal people, because that’s what they still are. they have been blessed and they are more than willing and happy to share these blessings with us, their fans, but i still pray for their privacy, their peace of mind, their health, their real happiness. because in the end, they are still human beings who deserve to live normally. i pray that they find strength in the faith that they have in the Lord and in each other.

and right now, i feel like this is my longest sunday currently yet. haha. it was nice to write these down, my thoughts and feelings again, raw and real. it won’t make sense to anyone who will bother to read it, but it matters to me. that when i read this again sometime in the future, it will remind me of this time when i was a little inspired to express myself a little more than usual.

 

 

 

 

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